


Doubt

by Deanismysavior



Series: Music Inspired [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 01:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7339519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanismysavior/pseuds/Deanismysavior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 4 of the Music Inspired series, based off of Doubt by twenty one pilots. This one is probably my favorite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt

_God damn it, just tell him!_ Dean paced back and forth in front of the mirror, never bothering to stop and take a look for fear of reality sinking in. He knew if he looked in the mirror at the broken shell of a man that he was, he would know he could never be deserving of Cas’s love. But hiding his feelings was no longer a choice, Cas was leaving tomorrow, back to heaven for important work and Dean didn’t know when, or if he’d ever see the angel again. He couldn’t die without knowing if it had really all been one sided the entire time.

He took in a deep breath and pushed the door open to the bathroom, starting to make his way down the hall of the bunker to where Cas would be, but fear took over him and he turned right back, shaking his head, “No, no, no, I can’t do this. What am I thinking?” he whispered to himself. 

Frustration got the better of him and he wound up his fist, releasing it’s impact on the mirror. The sound of glass breaking echoed around the room. Dean supposed that hadn’t been the smartest decision because it had only alerted Cas to Dean’s distress and the angel was now standing in the doorway, eyes full of concern. 

“Dean, what’s troubling you?”

 _Now or never._ Dean tried to open his mouth to speak, but no sound escaped. He knew all the words he wanted to say; they were right there on the tip of his tongue and yet, his fear of rejection held them in.

“Dean?” Cas moved to put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and looked down at his now bloodied hand. He took it in his, examining it, which only made Dean shudder at the touch. Cas looked up at him confused, “Why are you so tense, I want only to mend it for you,” and in an instant, Dean’s hand had been fully repaired by Cas’s grace. “You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever’s bothering you, we’ll work through it together,” Cas told him reassuringly, giving Dean a smile.

“Cas, there’s something I’ve gotta tell you,” Dean stammered. “Something that’s been gnawing at me for a while now.”

“Tell me Dean,” Cas implored, stroking the back of Dean’s hand.

“Cas, this isn’t easy for me. But you’re leaving tomorrow and I just… I’m scared. Cas I need you and up there in heaven,” Dean struggled to keep back tears from his eyes, but to no avail, “I’m afraid you’ll forget about me. Cas, I know I’ve given you a lot of crap over the years. I know I’ve doubted you when I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry for that, but Cas, I can’t do this without you.”

“Dean,” he said shakily, his eyes beginning to brim with tears now too. Moving closer to Dean, he wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Dean’s shoulder. “I could never forget about you. You’re not just my best friend, Dean. Imagine how hard it was for me when I got the call. The thought of being torn away from you, Dean, the person who taught me what love was and believed in me when no one else did; it broke me. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

By now the stream of tears had turned to soft sobs, shaking Dean’s entire body, and he tightened his grip around Cas. “Don’t make me lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me,” Cas responded, voice barely above a whisper, “I promise I’ll come back to you, like I always do.” He raised his head from Dean’s shoulder, looking him straight in the eye. “I love you.”

The moment Dean had been waiting on for years had arrived, and he didn’t hesitate this time. He pressed his lips against Cas’s. “You stole my line.”


End file.
